Pages

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Existance

After a long time I need u so again i m back to u when I m alone i only want u nothing else  coz this is the place where i m hiding my self from everyone n is describing my all feeling 
                           I started to  confined my self in a boundary so that i can not hurt anyone neither i would  enter in anyone's life nor interupt in anyone's matter or i m not going to complain anyone or to tell anyone my secrets or how much i m hurt by the people around me :(
 In the begniing I started hurting my self I was completly broken no one wants me or no one wants to knw the reason why I changed my self but this new change was also bothering them 
I dun knw what they want from me 
I m human not an angel why they are blaming n insulting n scolding me without any reason the only reason of mine is that I am silent girl I  used to keep silent even i m not wrong 
I dun knw where I lost 
Where my identity exist ? Where Should I exist  ???????????????????
 No one know why I changed few people  were having problem because of it n they did not want me to change thet know that I m not going to bear it .I m going to hurt my self . MY silence was interupting them  so they want me back to life once again  n when I decided to come back to my life which I used to spent ...................
They left me leaving the message thay for fews days" she will be unable to call or msg me or  she will not going to rply  me "
Is it worth  if she want to leave me so why did she left me before  she should left me on that day when i changed my self so i m not going to come back to my life this hurt me more than that she is the one I used to talk actually i have a habit to talk with her n it's only my fault that i need her she did not want me she has many in her life 
But...............................................
When i came to positve side I think that I did not complain her  n did not said anything to her if she hurt me  so today why i m i decided i m not going to tell her a single word n will confined my self again so that this time no one can hurt n other view of mine was the reason of her message was there should be something in which she is busy these days that's why she did 
I dun knw anything The fact is today I m agian alone in this world no noe is there to listen me 
n this time i m not going to come back I m not going to listen anything :(
THank u my little word from now on word I need u to describe my self 
N to share my thing with u 











Wednesday, September 22, 2010

school life

 school  is a place where  we spent our entire childhood  is passed  we have no sense of talking  school life is the memorable life  which no one can forget even though they reached to the  last age of their  life  (old age )  school is a place where   we get  atticate n every little stuff is taught over there
             I passed my 13 years  in a one school n have so many  memories of that school after passing 7 i changed the school n took admission in another school which was totally different  1st year  of  that school was  like a hell for me but last two years were  awsome I m not going to forget that school till the last breath of my life 
                  those three years were memorable  had a huge friend circle  considered to be a good student in the eyes of teacher , had fun on each n every place of  that school but  now nothing is left  only behgi palkien n purani yadien 
         every one is bzy no one get times to interconnect although some of us are still in contact but we dun knw about other  we used to say that our friendship will be ever lasting n we will be with each other in   rough times but no one is there when i need them  they were busy with their new friend
             It teaches that   it is difficult to find a sincere friends friends are all around but very few of them  are their  it's difficult to find a precious stone between many of the people . 
                  I wish that each n everyone should have precious stone in their life for ever n they will be thier ever lasting for their support  

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

biggest mistake I ever did

 mstakes are the part of life  n everyone can do many mistakes even though i did many  but  some mistakes leaves nothing but bad memories  which always haunts in your mind 
                           i did a  mistakes  which i m not going to forget anymore anyhow  coz it leaves a bad impact on me  when i was in matric i did friendship on net with a  boy n  with in few days we were like  best buddies  n  talk to much with each other    then he asked me for my cell num n guess what i gave it to him
            how fool n stupid i was ?  how   bad girl i was ?
                    we used to talk  hour n hour at night .  we used to  laugh n to solves each other problem   our friendship was very strong   he used to tell me everything  n i did the same even we both have our  friends 2  but still we were addicted to each other  we used to talk till sehri n sometimes we used to talk after  sehri . 
                It was fun talking with him . but then after one year we both had fight n  we were not giving time to each other  we were busy in our lives    but still we were friends  sometimes he used to say sch thing which i can not expect from him n even though i did  same  but what ever it is we were friends  then circumstances changed  he has so many problems in his life n  then he does not want me  coz he always think kai i m a little  child who is not going to understand his proble even though he is younger than me   he broke his friendship without giving me any reason  i dun knw why n  he does not have any reason   he was afriend of my sister n t he was like my sister  younger brother he used to tell everything to her n  he had so many problem  n no one is there so he got married at the age of 17   did u believe that  now he is not in contact with me  but he is in contact with my sister she is suffering n tolerating him coz f me 
   coz of the single mistake i did    
             I wish did not did this mistake n fron this I learnt a lesson 
It's difficult to find a  true friend in this materialistic world even though I m not  considering my self as a  sincere friend
 but now  i   m  sticked to some friends  n  this experience leave a very bad impact on me  my behaviour was changed coz  what ever I think n I feel I  sid to him  but  then he always said  one thing :yeh smjhte nahi hai
 Now I did not tell anyone  that he is doing wrong coz i m not perfect 2  n  what ever i feel from people is in my heart  coz no one can understand u except  Allah n your parents n a sincere friends   
 i dun want to loose my friends so I  stick to this sentence 
              " No Complain No Demands "
  

Saturday, September 18, 2010

the day I born

  The day when i born is when my mother was smiling but i was crying  I dun knw the feeling which she was having at that time but she was blessed by the daughter I dun knw   I heared by some one that she did not except me coz he want a son  so she refused to except me I dun know weather it is correct or not  if it is so it was her wish but today she loves me and cares for me  
                This was the begning of my life . This stupid stuff will be there in my mind but some how I am trying to get rid of but still memories and words always there. :(
             When I born there was some mishap with me my head  size increased day by day  so my mother used to get worried  people  used to say that i wont be a normal girl some says that i might die or some says that  she will look ugly or what so ever they all were  stupid ediot people I knw :(
       the fact is I am perfectly fine living my life  and   now there opnion are changed for me they  used to say that I m pretty  n i m smart I have only one problem  today why they are saying they  were the one who didnot want to except me but now they are why is that so ???
my mother always believes in only one God that my daughter will be fine  n she will be there n see   I  passed my 17 years 
  I am alive i want to thank only one Allah  he is the one  and my family. Today what ever I m is coz of my parents  I only have one question with everyone : why u people  do comment on other and  why ur opnion get change  day by day stick to one thing or dun say anything.
  there is a saying 
               "  dun  comment wrong this or dun   speak  rubbish it will   make ur life difficult and miserable "
 

Friday, September 17, 2010

Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul

lost in this world

this blog is for me and only   for myself ,where I  can share my personal feeling.Me and my inner existance  is totally different.A girl who used to live  in her own fantasy world  now She understands the real meaning of life and is in search of something to make her life completly perfect in her own way
              Well what to say about me .I am a girl who waste 17 years of life in doing nothing but now she want something for her soul and for her beautiful existance in this world
    A girl who is lost somewhere and is in search  of her  real culprit  and is removing her imposter image to have her perfect charming image